Family and Friends

 I am going to admit that I don’t have a close relationship with my family (as in parents and siblings) or any close friends and I am fine with that.

I have got friends and have had friends but I have not stayed close friends with anyone over time. Whenever a situation has changed, either I have moved or they have moved I have not really kept in touch on regular basis. I do have a couple of friends who live some distance away that I still speak to a couple of times a year and send cards and presents to but the majority I have lost contact with.

I have always preferred my own company and find too much socialising saps my energy and I just want to withdraw from people when that happens. I really enjoyed the lockdowns during COVID as there was no socialising and I could spend my time doing what I wanted. Don’t get me wrong, I could not be a total recluse, I still want to see people and was glad of the Zoom meetings during that time. Now I am happy to go to my groups where there is a shared interest but I don’t like parties or big gatherings where you have to make general conversation with people that you will not see again for a long time.

Even with my family I don’t feel closely connected to them and never really have. I always felt like an outsider within my family growing up and as the eldest seemed to be blamed for everything even though I had nothing wrong. There were a couple of incidents during my teenage years that have definitely affected my relationship with my parents and I am very different from my sisters who are both a lot more outgoing and sociable than I ever was.  When grandparents died, I felt sad but never felt the loss that people speak of, and when my brother-in-law died suddenly and his parents and siblings were devastated, I was the calm, unflustered one making tea and detached enough emotionally to go through his personal belongings to get the information with regards to companies who would need to be informed of his death.

My closest relationships are with my husband and children. Matthew takes after me and prefers his own company but Emma and Craig are a lot more sociable and have had a core group of the same friends for many years. I have always made contact with them all every day when they have not been home but occasionally even then I have had to think about it and make the effort as it has not come naturally to me.

As I have said I am fine with the way I am, I am not going to change but I do sometimes worry about Matthew and what his life is going to be like. I also sometimes wonder what it would be like to have a group of close friends that I can turn to for help or support without thinking that I would be imposing on them. I don’t know who I would say if I was given some really bad news by the police and they said should they call someone if Craig and the kids were not around.

I don’t suppose it would do for everyone to be the same whether that be introverted or extroverted or somewhere in between, I am content with the way I am and nobody will change me, just as Craig is the exact opposite of me and I would not expect him to change. He has been the one that has helped me keep some of the connections I do have and I am grateful to him for doing that.

A week in the Life of a School Admin Assistant

 A year ago I started working in a primary school as an admin assistant. I have worked in administration for 15 years but nothing can prepare you for working in a primary school. No two days are ever the same and you never know what the day is going to bring.  I have decided to let you know what a week in my life looks like and how unlike any other role I have had previously.

I have jobs that I do on a daily basis that you would expect such as taking messages, updating registers, chasing payments for trips and school dinners, photocopying and filing so I am not going to put those in, I am just going to let you know the things you would not expect to be doing as an administrator in a typical office job

Monday –  Nurse

 An unusual amount of absences due to illness and lots of parents coming in with prescription medicine that needs to be given to the children during the day. Each parent must complete a form detailing the medicine, dosage and time to be administered. Most of them are an hour before eating so at 10.45 I dutifully go round the different classes and collect 4 children who need their medication. It was also a day for giving out Calpol as I had messages from 3 teachers asking for parents to be called to get permission for the children to have Calpol for various reasons. Each administration of medication needs paperwork completing and in the case of the school Calpol a form being sent home with the child for the parents to sign and return. I also had to send a child home who had vomited in the reception area as well as help clean it up.

Tuesday – Photographer’s assistant. 

Today was the day for the annual class photos and I had to accompany the photographer to find a suitable location to take the photos outside as we had a visit from a bird sanctuary which was taking place in the hall where the photos are normally taken. I am so glad it isn’t raining or cold. Despite having a reminder sent out the day before about wearing full school uniform there are a number of children in each class who are not wearing jumpers so I had to raid the lost property box to find jumpers that fit and looked decent. I had to change the order of the classes as Year 5 were doing tests and when the photographer was ready for Year 3 they were just about to go on their break.  Putting some of them in height order as well was interesting as some of the children were a little bit deluded about how tall they were.

Wednesday – Craft consultant.

I was persuaded before Christmas to run a sewing group before school for some of the pupil premium children who had not accessed any other of the clubs and Wednesday was the chosen day, so at 8.00am I had my little group of 9 girls all eager to carry on making a zipped pouch (all hand sewn as there are no sewing machines). All of them need to work on making the stitches smaller so that the pouch isn’t going to fall apart.  In the afternoon I was supervising the year 6’s who were using hot glue guns for a D & T project. I had come prepared with some finger protectors which I use at home.

Thursday – Trip assistant

In the morning I accompanied the year 3’s to a Singing festival in the festival hall which meant a trip on the tram with 60 seven year olds. They were very well behaved and they amused the other passengers with a game that one of the teachers devised where they had to be statues between certain points. Although I am biased, they were also the best performers as they all gave full energy to the songs they sang and some even had a little boogie whilst singing. On my return to school at lunch time I was greeted by 3 very large boxes containing new books for the library all of which needed to be checked against the order and stamping. There ended up over 100 books in the order so that took quite a while to check and stamp.

Friday – Dish washer 

On Wednesday the dishwasher in the school kitchen had broken down so various members of staff had been roped in during the week to assist in the clearing of the plates and today was my turn. I wasn’t actually washing the dishes I was scraping and rinsing the plates. My reward was a chocolate chip cookie. I also had to get involved in a safeguarding issue involving the police and social workers which took up quite a bit of time.

The diversity of things I can get involved in is what makes this job so enjoyable. If ever I am feeling a little down being around the children always cheers me up with the enthusiasm and quirks and I look forward to going into work instead of dreading it. I do also enjoy the extra holidays, just not the increased cost of going away.

Although I have given you an insight into the aspects of the role that are fun or unusual there are also the sadder aspects where you are dealing with the fallout from family breakdown, abuse, poverty and neglect. There have been a number of times when all I have wanted to do is take a child home and look after them in the way they should be looked after because their lives at home most people would find horrible. Working at the reception desk also means that you have a lot on interaction with parents and some of them will tell you their life stories and you end up almost being an agony aunt as they tell you about financial difficulties, issues with the child's siblings or other parent or family member and you end up either wanting to give them a hug or a slap depending on the issue or parent.

Working in a school office has been my absolute favourite admin role and I cannot ever see me leaving the school until I retire. It doesn’t feel like work even when the office has lots of work on and I relish the opportunity of interacting with the children and getting to know them.