Family and Friends

 I am going to admit that I don’t have a close relationship with my family (as in parents and siblings) or any close friends and I am fine with that.

I have got friends and have had friends but I have not stayed close friends with anyone over time. Whenever a situation has changed, either I have moved or they have moved I have not really kept in touch on regular basis. I do have a couple of friends who live some distance away that I still speak to a couple of times a year and send cards and presents to but the majority I have lost contact with.

I have always preferred my own company and find too much socialising saps my energy and I just want to withdraw from people when that happens. I really enjoyed the lockdowns during COVID as there was no socialising and I could spend my time doing what I wanted. Don’t get me wrong, I could not be a total recluse, I still want to see people and was glad of the Zoom meetings during that time. Now I am happy to go to my groups where there is a shared interest but I don’t like parties or big gatherings where you have to make general conversation with people that you will not see again for a long time.

Even with my family I don’t feel closely connected to them and never really have. I always felt like an outsider within my family growing up and as the eldest seemed to be blamed for everything even though I had nothing wrong. There were a couple of incidents during my teenage years that have definitely affected my relationship with my parents and I am very different from my sisters who are both a lot more outgoing and sociable than I ever was.  When grandparents died, I felt sad but never felt the loss that people speak of, and when my brother-in-law died suddenly and his parents and siblings were devastated, I was the calm, unflustered one making tea and detached enough emotionally to go through his personal belongings to get the information with regards to companies who would need to be informed of his death.

My closest relationships are with my husband and children. Matthew takes after me and prefers his own company but Emma and Craig are a lot more sociable and have had a core group of the same friends for many years. I have always made contact with them all every day when they have not been home but occasionally even then I have had to think about it and make the effort as it has not come naturally to me.

As I have said I am fine with the way I am, I am not going to change but I do sometimes worry about Matthew and what his life is going to be like. I also sometimes wonder what it would be like to have a group of close friends that I can turn to for help or support without thinking that I would be imposing on them. I don’t know who I would say if I was given some really bad news by the police and they said should they call someone if Craig and the kids were not around.

I don’t suppose it would do for everyone to be the same whether that be introverted or extroverted or somewhere in between, I am content with the way I am and nobody will change me, just as Craig is the exact opposite of me and I would not expect him to change. He has been the one that has helped me keep some of the connections I do have and I am grateful to him for doing that.

A week in the Life of a School Admin Assistant

 A year ago I started working in a primary school as an admin assistant. I have worked in administration for 15 years but nothing can prepare you for working in a primary school. No two days are ever the same and you never know what the day is going to bring.  I have decided to let you know what a week in my life looks like and how unlike any other role I have had previously.

I have jobs that I do on a daily basis that you would expect such as taking messages, updating registers, chasing payments for trips and school dinners, photocopying and filing so I am not going to put those in, I am just going to let you know the things you would not expect to be doing as an administrator in a typical office job

Monday –  Nurse

 An unusual amount of absences due to illness and lots of parents coming in with prescription medicine that needs to be given to the children during the day. Each parent must complete a form detailing the medicine, dosage and time to be administered. Most of them are an hour before eating so at 10.45 I dutifully go round the different classes and collect 4 children who need their medication. It was also a day for giving out Calpol as I had messages from 3 teachers asking for parents to be called to get permission for the children to have Calpol for various reasons. Each administration of medication needs paperwork completing and in the case of the school Calpol a form being sent home with the child for the parents to sign and return. I also had to send a child home who had vomited in the reception area as well as help clean it up.

Tuesday – Photographer’s assistant. 

Today was the day for the annual class photos and I had to accompany the photographer to find a suitable location to take the photos outside as we had a visit from a bird sanctuary which was taking place in the hall where the photos are normally taken. I am so glad it isn’t raining or cold. Despite having a reminder sent out the day before about wearing full school uniform there are a number of children in each class who are not wearing jumpers so I had to raid the lost property box to find jumpers that fit and looked decent. I had to change the order of the classes as Year 5 were doing tests and when the photographer was ready for Year 3 they were just about to go on their break.  Putting some of them in height order as well was interesting as some of the children were a little bit deluded about how tall they were.

Wednesday – Craft consultant.

I was persuaded before Christmas to run a sewing group before school for some of the pupil premium children who had not accessed any other of the clubs and Wednesday was the chosen day, so at 8.00am I had my little group of 9 girls all eager to carry on making a zipped pouch (all hand sewn as there are no sewing machines). All of them need to work on making the stitches smaller so that the pouch isn’t going to fall apart.  In the afternoon I was supervising the year 6’s who were using hot glue guns for a D & T project. I had come prepared with some finger protectors which I use at home.

Thursday – Trip assistant

In the morning I accompanied the year 3’s to a Singing festival in the festival hall which meant a trip on the tram with 60 seven year olds. They were very well behaved and they amused the other passengers with a game that one of the teachers devised where they had to be statues between certain points. Although I am biased, they were also the best performers as they all gave full energy to the songs they sang and some even had a little boogie whilst singing. On my return to school at lunch time I was greeted by 3 very large boxes containing new books for the library all of which needed to be checked against the order and stamping. There ended up over 100 books in the order so that took quite a while to check and stamp.

Friday – Dish washer 

On Wednesday the dishwasher in the school kitchen had broken down so various members of staff had been roped in during the week to assist in the clearing of the plates and today was my turn. I wasn’t actually washing the dishes I was scraping and rinsing the plates. My reward was a chocolate chip cookie. I also had to get involved in a safeguarding issue involving the police and social workers which took up quite a bit of time.

The diversity of things I can get involved in is what makes this job so enjoyable. If ever I am feeling a little down being around the children always cheers me up with the enthusiasm and quirks and I look forward to going into work instead of dreading it. I do also enjoy the extra holidays, just not the increased cost of going away.

Although I have given you an insight into the aspects of the role that are fun or unusual there are also the sadder aspects where you are dealing with the fallout from family breakdown, abuse, poverty and neglect. There have been a number of times when all I have wanted to do is take a child home and look after them in the way they should be looked after because their lives at home most people would find horrible. Working at the reception desk also means that you have a lot on interaction with parents and some of them will tell you their life stories and you end up almost being an agony aunt as they tell you about financial difficulties, issues with the child's siblings or other parent or family member and you end up either wanting to give them a hug or a slap depending on the issue or parent.

Working in a school office has been my absolute favourite admin role and I cannot ever see me leaving the school until I retire. It doesn’t feel like work even when the office has lots of work on and I relish the opportunity of interacting with the children and getting to know them.

West Midlands Safari Park

 On a dull, cloudy Sunday we all got up early to drive two hours to the West Midlands Safari Park. It had been about 20 years since we last went and Craig had been wanting to go since we went to Knowsley Safari Park a couple of years ago. It ha certainly changed a lot form the last time we went.

We arrived with about 15 minutes to spare before our allotted time to drive through the park. It gave us a chance to nip to the bathroom as notice boards near the entrance were saying that it would take about 2 hours to drive around, which indeed it did.

There were plenty of animals roaming around and so used to cars they were just wandering between the two lanes of cars. The only animals which were a bit more elusive were the painted dogs and the white lions, both of which you could see but they were up against the fences some distance away.

There is also the section you can walk round where you can see the likes of penguins, sea lions, hippos, fish, reptiles and birds. My favourite, the Red Panda proved to be the most elusive and I did not catch sight of them at all, though there were plenty of stuffed ones in the Red Panda gift shop next to the enclosure.

There is also a very good fairground with plenty of rides for all sizes of children and compared to the theme parks was good value at £10 a wristband if bought online (£14.90 on the day). In fact I felt the whole park offered good value for money compared to similar places we have visited especially for food and drink (once inside the park not at the vendors by the car park). We did take a picnic with us however and ate it on the grassy area near the car park as it luckily stayed dry. I did buy a Coke which you had to get in a souvenir cup. It was £4.00 for the drink and the cup and if you wanted a refill using the same cup it was only £2.00. The meals averaged out at about £10 for an adult meal but I did not see the portion size and there were a couple of restaurants you could eat in.

We all agreed that the park was much better than Knowsley Safari Park and we would go again, however we would do the walk-through part first and then the drive through as I noticed it was a lot quieter in that part after 1.00pm.

Other Places I have visited this year so far.

 Now that I have the school holidays off I am determined to see more of the country and the attractions that interest me which may not appeal to the rest of the family.

As a family we have been members of the National Trust for many years and now the children are adults my membership has changed to just Craig and I. We do try to visit a few properties each year. Over Easter I finally got to visit Quarry Bank Mill in Styal near Manchester airport. It is not one large property it is a mill, an apprentice house, the owners house and gardens and the village. The tours of the apprentice house and village have to be booked on a timed tour as they are guided. I booked for the apprentice house and learnt a lot about the life the children would have had. In some ways they were very well looked after compared to the workhouse or other mills. I have to admit, anything to do with industry does not appeal to me, I prefer seeing how people lived rather than worked so I didn’t really spend time in the mill. The owners house was a bit disappointing as you only saw a few rooms downstairs. The gardens were lovely and the location would have been a lot more desirable a place to work than the centre of the towns.

The other National Trust property visited was Tatton Park. A word of warning here though. Although the property is managed by the National Trust, it is owned by Cheshire Council who are currently charging £9.50 per car just to park.

I have been to Tatton Park a number of times before for events but never to really go into the house or gardens. This time I did. The house is impressive and it is one of the few places that gives you an insight into the life of the servants and you get to see the kitchens.

As Penny was not with us we went into the gardens which I haven’t been into since I was a child. I can imagine that in the height of summer when everything is in full bloom they are stunning but it was a little early for the flowers to be blooming. The Japanese garden was eye catching and felt very peaceful.

There was a Shaun the Sheep trail for the children with various designs dotted around the park. This was my favourite design.

As it was just Craig and I we went into the ‘Gardener’s Cottage’ for a drink and a slice of cake. The picture here does not really do justice to how pretty it really is. Unfortunately, the weather was not favourable enough to sit outside,

As mentioned earlier, I like learning how people lived in the past. Living museums are fantastic places to get insights into so I visited Blists Hill Victorian Town near Telford in Shropshire.

I loved seeing all the shops and what they sold. It certainly makes you realise how lucky we are nowadays to be able to have so much choice compared to then. I am also grateful for all the things we have nowadays that make our lives more convenient and easier. There are aspects that I wish we still had, such as the sense of community and having local shops to buy fresh things from on a seasonal basis and less choice.

I enjoyed looking at the homes they had and speaking to the people who were there and giving you information as to the types of people who lived there and the types of lives they had.

It is somewhere I will definitely be going back to later this year to see how it looks in a different season and hopefully better weather. Maybe I could persuade Craig or Emma to come along as well. I know Matthew will not be interested.

Finally, on a glorious Sunday of the May bank holiday, Craig and I went to Eden Camp which is a World War Two museum created in an actual Prisoner of War camp. It is near Malton in Yorkshire. I have been before accompanying a school trip and we have passed it every time we went to Whitby. The museum exhibits are housed in actual prisoner of war huts arranged by events or to give you an overview of what life was like for ordinary people, soldiers or prisoners of war.

Again I was only interested in the huts that showed what everyday life was like and although I went through most of the huts, I definitely spent less time in the huts that covered the battles. There was also a lot of information on the boards and it meant that there were hold-ups getting into some of the huts due to people wanting to read the information. Taking pictures in most of the huts was not going to be easy as they were quite dark inside so I did not bother.

Although the visit had interesting elements, I am not planning on going back any time in the near future. Probably only if I have to accompany a school trip which is unlikely as it is a little to far for the school I am working in to go.

Estepona Holiday

 During the February half term holiday we were fortunate enough to be able to take our nephew over to Estepona, near Marbella, Spain to see his Dad and spend the week there. As someone who does not do well with heat this was the perfect time for me to go as the temperature was low 20’s. It did feel strange waking up in the mornings to sun and warmth though.

We have never visited that part of Spain before and it was beautiful. Estepona is known as the Garden of the Costa del Sol and it was easy to see why. Even in February there was plenty of greenery and some flowers. Some of the streets in the old town were lined with orange trees which were full of  oranges and there were flowerbeds in the main street as well. There is also an Orchidarium in the centre of town which had some beautiful orchids growing.

As well as the flowers there is also a Mural trail you can follow. The town has allowed local artists to paint murals on the walls of buildings and there were some fantastic displays around the town. There is a map you can get which tells you where they are. It is continually being added to and at the time we went there were 62 murals to see.

As we had hired a car we decided to do a bit of sightseeing in other areas nearby. The first place we went to was Puerto Banus. We really only looked around the port area and there were some fantastic and very expensive yachts and the shops reflected that. I fell in love with a pair of Gucci sandals which I estimated laughably to be about £400 (you can tell I don’t do designer). They were in fact £750. Needless to say I didn’t get them.

I did enjoy a rather yummy cocktail in a boat shaped bar with a rather interesting design in the ladies bathroom though.

We saw some more yachts (but a little less grand) at Sotogrande where we experienced a bit of rain, which I found most welcome, to break up the monotony the daily sunshine. It was very quiet and so we only spent a couple of hours there as most places were closed as it was too early in the year. Matthew and our nephew enjoyed a rather large pancake each as they had missed out on Pancake Day a couple of days before.

Our favourite day was the Friday when we went to Selwo Aventura which was a zoo about half an hours drive away. It was my favourite as they had the most active Red Panda’s I had ever seen. I could have spent all day just watching them. It was a lot bigger than we anticipated as we ended up spending most of the day there and did lots of walking. I also loved the lemurs who all looked like they were meditating in the sun.

On our last day we went to Malaga as that was where we were flying home from. We had intended on visiting  the car and fashion museum but we had not allowed for the siesta closing times and we literally turned up as it closed. We took a walk along the promenade before going to Plaza Mayor which is a MacArthur Glen Designer village which was huge. We had called in to get something to eat when  we arrived on the first evening but we had not seen how big it actually was as we did not really explore due to the shops being closed and only the food outlets being open. If we go back then I will certainly plan on spending some more time (and money) there as well as in Malaga itself as we did not have the time to explore the town.

We hope that we can go back to Estepona as we really enjoyed it, especially in February. We would have liked to have gone over at Easter but the cost was triple what we paid in February which is absolutely ridiculous for exactly the same place, using the same airline just at a more popular time of year for holidays. That is the only problem with being restricted to school holidays. Something needs to be done to even things out in terms of cost so that maybe more parents could afford to go abroad and adults who work in schools who cannot take any other time off are not penalised as well.